One size fits ALL
"I know I'm fat
There's no need to give me the 'look' - the one where your eyes travel up and down my body in disgust.
There's no need to make 'helpful' comments or digs or even suggestions on how to lose weight - I'm sorry...DID I ASK? No, I didn't peep a word!"
Has anyone else felt the need the scream the above statement out loud?
Never fear
They say that the best middle finger you can give anyone is your own happiness, and after a LONG journey of self doubt and self conciseness, I have found that to be unbelievably true!
You may all remember that I asked for a male perspective on the trauma that all you lovely ladies put yourselves through every day.
I had an amazing response from close friends, old friends and even mutual friends who are boyfriends or husbands of some of you ladies reading this.
What was abundantly clear is that true love is true to everything.
True love has no time for the fake society that we are currently falling slave to, it has no time for filters, no time for trolls and certainly no time for brainwashed fantasies.
True love is finding a connection with someone who completes them. A connection so powerful that you can't explain it but everything falls in to place with that one human being so easily that, actually, no explanation is needed.
True love does not say 'I can never be attracted to someone who is fat' - true love has already decided that they're in love you without giving 2 or 3 or 4 shits on what you weigh.
Wanna hear what real men have said?
Well here you are, in black and white, the male perspective:
"I feel that being a bigger size person myself, people need to stop being so nasty in today's world, people still feel its fine to slag off someone calling them all sorts of horrid things and so, it doesn't really matter if you're a bigger build or slim, its the person inside that matters really. It doesn't matter if you're a large size person, it doesn't make you uglier or so, there are bigger sized guys around that can carry the weight well and still look good and im glad to see more + size models around today and some well known ones around being so popular and in the public eye, i follow a few on Instagram and they are absolutely beautiful. sometimes i think the shapes and sizes of them make them the person they are and make them beautiful, I actually find many of them more beautiful than slimmer, toned models, i feel that the larger size girls are more real and not fake,and it doesn't make them less worthy because of their size."
"Okay, so - Bodies. The whole thing gets confused and messed up sometimes. We are, perhaps, enslaved to the 'body perfect' that the media has pushed hard on. The seeds of change are happening now, fat-shaming is diminishing and this is great but the scars of the 'perfect body era' (90's - 00's) aren't going anywhere soon. Time will resolve it.
My truth is this; I have always loved curves. I always shrugged at the more obvious pin-ups of my peers.
I liked heaving bosoms, a rounded belly, proper thighs etc.
Monroe had curves. Rita Hayworth had curves.
I never understood why anyone ever thought men stopped admiring curves?
Personally and from a purely logistical point of view, intimacy with a curvy woman is, more comfortable, more sensuous and wondrous than with a skinny woman.
Ultimately, as it always is, its more about the person inside the skin rather than the body but curvy women seem nicer overall - that's definitely not a scientific point though.
As for me; I'm fat. 8 years ago I was lean and confident. Since then I have become a father to 3 kids, lost my own dad very suddenly, started taking anti depressants and given up smoking. This all adds up to a pretty significant weight gain and, fuck me, do I hear about it. Women (and it does seem to always be women) appear delighted to come up to me, whatever the occasion, and tell me I have have put on weight.
The damage this has done to my self worth is massive.
Why does commenting on weight gain seem ok if its aimed at men?"
"My ideas and perspectives are that we dont see half the problems you see yourself. I feel it's a misconception that we judge on first appearances. body confidence is such a huge part for guys. as in we find a strong and positive woman far more attractive than a shrieking violet.
If you've got it flaunt it!
We are more than happy if you give us the time of day than any flaws that you think about yourself."
"In all the time I've known you, I have never thought of your weight being an issue. Your temper, yes, but your weight? NO! I love you for you."
True love doesn't always have to mean a romantic relationship either, as we learnt from the irritating Royals of Arendelle, true love can be a close connection with a family member, best friend or even (the best one), YOURSELF.
I recently went to London to see the incredible Lindsey Stirling perform live, stay with me, this is relevant.
Stirling's music is a required taste, I mean, isn't all music? However, the audience proved to be a mixed bunch of beautiful misfits and all I could think of was 'how bloody refreshing!'
It's so nice to see real people do real things and have real relationships. At the same time, we were all there for one thing and all had the same love for Stirling's music.
She even spoke out during her show on her own personal experiences. She suffered from anorexia and had to deal with darkness sweeping and consuming her body just as someone would if they were obese. She talked about how she trained her own mind to be positive and surrounded herself with positivity, through books, music and her loved ones. Soon after, the darkness lifted.
We all know that there are health risks on either side of the spectrum when it comes to weight and, yes, they are to be addressed and taken seriously -
But for all those in between....*repeat after me*: I WIGGLE, I GIGGLE, I DON'T GIVE A FUCKIGLE!
I feel like we have come so far as a race and yet fallen back further as a society.
Social media has given us a false sense of reality. That along with the news media, force feeding illusions onto the younger generation and in turn, have become brainwashed on so many things.
The world is changing but in a very uneasy way.
In a world of strenuously graceful, show-off peacocks - be a real to life fat pigeon, no effort required.
If in doubt, read the title of this blog, again and again...
Crikey, that was all a bit serious wasn't it?
Well, on a funny note: I went on a very well needed break with my girls in Cornwall. One of the main reasons we booked this particular holiday lodge was not the glorious view, but the HOT TUB! Obviously.
Being typically British, we jumped in that thing the second we arrived, in the wind and rain.
When I say jumped, I mean gingerly stepped in, trying not to slip as I trusted my toes to feel around the bubbles for a secure, flat seat - not the side of a bastard water jet!
I can tell you now, the heart stopping feeling of utter betrayal when your feet fail you is almost life threatening.
After drinking many bottles of bubbles (obviously not in the tub - of course not...we take rules very seriously....), we decided to get out as the weather had turned and was now dark.
I didn't like the idea of being dressed in next to nothing, exposed in the middle of the countryside after watching AHS 1984, thank you VERY much!
We had to take it in turns to get out and run into the lodge for our towels and warmth.
Imagine, if you may, a waddle of penguins taking it in turns to jump into the sea.
This was us, in reverse.
One by one finding the courage to step from warmth to freezing cold to warmth.
It was the funniest sight.
We couldn't all run out together as we would have become wedged in the door. But it was a quick and very ungraceful transition.
When it was my turn, the weight of my ass was so relaxed in the bubbles that it took a few attempts to heave myself out and take that very unattractive step on to the ground; the step that makes your pubic hair feel exposed!
After the others had gone, they had left the patio floor wet...so guess who took a sharp, awakening, suddenly sober slip..? The one where you wished you'd kissed your grandmother goodbye.
The hot tub is supposed to be there to relax you - well, you're only relaxed when you're IN IT -everything before and after is at your own risk, no matter your size.
Wiggles and giggles xx
