I’m back!

Some people have questioned where my blogs are at!

After weeks of stressful moments, working my fat arse off while the world starts to crumble around me, I have found myself in a whirlwind of crazy!

My brain has felt like mushed up jelly, which I’m sure most of you can relate to.

This pandemic has caused anxiety that I have never felt before, but was obviously lurking in the shadows. I will be fine one minute and the next, my heart decides to beat at the rate of a stopwatch and my mind cannot hit the stop button quick enough.

We have been drawing straws at work to see which poor soul has to risk their sanity and health to get a bloody pint of milk for the coffee we need to prepare ourselves for the high demand of equipment needed for our NHS to help saves lives and make sure the virus doesn’t spread to the people we love, so we can finally reunite and have our lives back, when I see a COV-IDIOT in front of me, coughing into their hand before taking a trolley at Lidl; the home of milk!

To be honest, I have not been in any correct state of mind to be creative until very recently. It is slowly coming back and THANK GOD!

So here what’s been happening in these strange times;

· At the beginning - Nearly a full office, new staff members: all looking worried, bracing ourselves for the call from our customer to tell us how busy we are suddenly going to be

· A couple of weeks later - Half the staff: desperately trying to create a schedule to fit the high demands and crazy requests

· STRESS = Wine = Netflix

· A week later - Suddenly just me: crying into my milk-less coffee

· A few more days after that - Me and some people working from home: That was odd

· STRESS = wine/ice-cream/ chocolate = watching re-runs of Eastenders

· Weeks of the same thing: Like a tumble weed has drifted across the UK, but stress behind the scenes

· Recently: our society needs to be spoon fed on how not to be twat

· STRESS = wine/ice-cream/ chocolate = TikTok

· Meanwhile: Corona is rearing its ugly head for a 2nd wave

· Right now:…REPEAT!

I still don’t understand how we are so shocked at some members of this society and their lack of common sense. Right at the beginning of this pandemic, we were reminded that we should wash our hands!



I mean…putting the bins out is something we might need to be reminded on…but washing our hands!?

I think we act so dumb, because that’s how the government and the media treat us.

There now seems to be this massive panic on what the news will report day by day, but not in a way that is justified. In a way that the general public are desperate for the spoon to be shoved in their mouths so much so that they can then play the blame game when they’re too idiotic to find the common sense for themselves!

As for the toilet roll-hunger games-massacre….DON’T get me started!

It is really hard to stay positive when the rest of society act like this. It’s such a strange time to be amongst the silly billies!

It makes you do things like join TikTok


I can’t help it.

For me, it’s the escape that I have desperately needed.

I only joined a couple of weeks ago and I am having a lot of fun. I don’t take it seriously in the sense that I strive for followers or say things like ‘don’t let this flop’, ‘this took me ages, make me go viral’ - please!

But I do take it seriously in the sense that I put effort into the lip sync and bring out a bit of acting, costume and make-up.

This is my release.

I think it’s a really clever app for fun – and only fun!! Those taking it as seriously as life itself need…to…CHILL the fuck out!

Also, during the lockdown, I have gained more weight, I wont lie.

What’s even more humiliating is I don’t have the excuse of staying at home with no access to anything – I have not stopped working. Things have continued normally as normal can be for me – with added stress.

My go too has been a tub of ice-cream and a bottle of wine most nights. I would love to blame COVID-19, sadly, that’s not the case – I’m just a fat bitch.

I have tried in small intervals to gain some self-control, like doing yoga, dancing, not drinking in the week. But those small intervals mean nothing when the Fantasia hippo inside you starts bouncing to the fridge like a child on Christmas day.

I open my wardrobe every morning to decide what I’m going wear and all my clothes laugh at me, even my pants and socks have a little giggle. The only garment showing me love is an over-sized T.shirt I got at the last Lindsey concert. The only pair of leggings I own that don’t have chafing holes, grip on to each piece of thread in a desperate effort to stay intact.

Some people have said to just buy some new clothes.

Well, actually, Karen, while some of us are still working, it means we have to still pay bills – we don’t qualify for a break in mortgage or loan re-payments. Even though petrol prices have gone down, we still have to buy fuel to travel to work….every…day. Somehow we spend more on a food shop because we grab what we can in one breath so as not to be amongst the COV-IDOTS too long! This still leaves me poor after a couple of weeks into the month, Karen. So, no, I can’t JUST buy some new clothes!

Losing weight is the only way my nice clothes will stop laughing.

We have decided to dig up our garden and renovate; thinking this would be the perfect opportunity to get some core exercise in on the weekends. However, it has become a peep show of me watching my man sweat it out and do all the manly man stuff while I pretend to sweep up pebbles with a broom….

I’m a pure Gemini. I feel like I have two minds; the healthy one and the fat one.

The healthy one randomly whispers to eat some celery while the fat one is there with its megaphone, shouting at me for 2 months: ‘You’re stressed, you neeeeeed this chocolate – seriously, go get that damn chocolate’

Going to the corner shop has turned in to a game of Qbert.

You try to look all innocent; you follow the rules, wipe down the handle on the basket, follow the one-way system; knowing that the wine and chocolate is at the other end of the bloody shop.

I always feel like I need to suddenly grab some grown up stuff like onions and eggs to make it look like an essential trip.

People look at you, stuck in their designated cubes, at your empty basket like you’re about to cough in their eyeballs.

When you then follow them to the till, side step to the left, reach out for a bottle of wine – oh the inward sighs and eye rolling resound!

Shut it, Karen, you nosy, judgemental bitch, standing there in your PJ’s, with your ice lollies and semi-skimmed moo juice, obviously following me wherever I go.

I’m a key worker – THIS is essential!

It’s not like I have just ‘popped’ into a big store swanning my way through the big shoppers, making a bee line to the alcohol.

Get a grip, it’s a small corner shop, Karen.

Let’s face it, our lives as we know it has changed.

Will we, as a race, learn some very important and valuable lessons from this? I doubt it, but at least we can still count on a few who make the world a better place.

This whole thing will take time.

A lot of bad things have happened this year, but a lot of good has and will continue to come out of this pandemic.

Our NHS front liners are fantastic, but they always have been – only now do we clap!?

Key workers have always been there, slugging their guts out for you – only now do we see it?

Our rivers, oceans and wildlife have always been beautiful – only now do we appreciate it?

I have certainly become more appreciative of the world and things around me. I am desperate to jet off on a damn holiday, but for now, time is the answer.

“Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure out everything all at once.


You’re strong

You got this

Take it day by day”

Quote: Unknown

*I know not of a Karen…purely fictional as an example

*I also do not glorify drinking as an excuse to be a twat – It’s a joke people

Wiggles and Giggles x

#plussize #blogger #curvy #keyworkers #COVID19 #Pandemic #struggles

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